Celtic Manor Is No Roadhouse Dancefloor

Let’s look at this whole Ryder Cup thing in a different light.

Doesn’t Captain Corey remind you of one of your little friends from back in the day, with the big attitude and mouth who used to start trouble out on the town? You know the one, generally the one with the much bigger friends who didn’t start the trouble but would bail-out their feisty little friend in a pinch when called upon. Well, we all know Corey is going to start some s*&t before this Ryder Cup is over with, so let’s see who has his back………

Tiger Woods. Please, Tiger hangs out with a much cooler crowd, you know the crowd that has orgies and takes designer drugs, he doesn’t have time to fistfight with his old teammates from school at some lame beerhall. Would rather be somewhere else.

Phil Mickelson. First of all I doubt Phil actually has friends and secondly does Phil look or act like he would be caught dead out at some lame beerhall? Would also rather be somewhere else.

Stewart Cink. Hey guys, sure I’d liked to go out and have a good time, but I got married at a really young age and my wife says I’m not allowed to do stuff with guys in bars. Count me out on any of the late night action, but I’d like to go on the trip. Really Stew, what’s the point?

Jeff Overton. His own teammates will beat the crap out of him before anyone else even has a chance. Shut up and play golf already.

Bubba Watson. The only tough thing about Bubba is his name, with that frame and proclivity for the waterworks, I hope he’s able to call the cops for some help for Captain Corey, because he’s not giving you any.

Steve Stricker. See Stewart Cink above. Although he chooses to live in a cold weather climate year round, could be psycho enough to offer some help in a pinch and he is from Milwaukee which means he’s no stranger to beer halls.

 Hunter Mahan. Seems like a two face. Shy senstive type on one night, wet bikini contest judge the next night, catch him on the right night and he could be the man.

Dustin Johnson. Let’s not get him hurt in any fight, he’s always the guy buying drinks and is friends with everybody in the place, he’s having to much fun to fight anyway, check his final round numbers to see how friendly he is to the competition this year.

Rickie Fowler. No help, can’t get in the joint, unable to score some decent fake id. Combined with the fact he does’nt look like he could fight his way out of a paper bag anyway, though he may be an up and comer in future years, gotta have balls to wear those duds.

Zach Johnson. Beware the quiet unassuming type. He will always have your back, he may not like your methods, but he will be there in the mix.

Jim Furyk. He’s down. Jim has probably started and ended more fights than all of the above. With a swing like that, his chrome dome and  gorgeous wife, I’m sure Jim has had to deal with his share of wisecracks over the years.

 Matt Kuchar. See Stewart Cink above. Do you think he’s going to risk those choppers in any backyard brawl?

Coach Pavin, based on the lineup above, I suggest you keep your mouth shut and take your beating like a much bigger man, because 3 or 4 guys versus a European team of 12 made up of Germans, Irishman and feisty English guys(soccer hooligans are pretty tough) isn’t going to get you out of that roadhouse alive…………..

 Go Play Golf

Go Play Golf in Myrtle Beach

Go to Caledonia Golf Vacations

Bob Seganti, PGA

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